Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
His nipple licking is glorious
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