Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
