Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize