i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
