Quick, to the slutcave!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize