You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
