i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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