I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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