I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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