I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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