Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
