Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
