I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
