You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Fuck appropriateness.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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