i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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