In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
