FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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