How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
