i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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