Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
