I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
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