she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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