smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
