just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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