are you so shy because you have an std?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
