Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
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