also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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