Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Randomize
