i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
