Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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