Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
kristin has been a bad kristin
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
