that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
