When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize