those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
