we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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