That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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