My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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