How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
