Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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