scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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