Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
