i think my tv is drunk
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
