did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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