it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
