Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
