If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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