i was born a porn star she said
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
