My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
