On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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