Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
