cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
