Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
