what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
