Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize