New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
