R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Damn victory sex feels great
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