Don't you send me to vm
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
