WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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