Kiss
Puke
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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