he thought i was a dude.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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