There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
