That's intense
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
