well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize