dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
