I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
