where am i from again
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize