ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
