I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
