I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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