everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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