This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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