wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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