that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
