I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i think my cat just said my name.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
