Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
