It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
