Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
