I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I need a burrito and a hug.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
