Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
